Archive for the ‘Technology’ Category

GERBER’S LAWS- Computing and Software

August 28, 2007

1 ) Never go cheap on a new computer, unless you are only using it for that version of Word 5.0 you just are too emotionally attached to.

2 ) Of every computer you buy, the even ones will be the ones that turn into Yugo’s within 6 months of purchase, while the odd ones will last long, LONG past their point of obsolescence.

3 ) No matter how much you spend on a new computer, there is someone in the world with 20 year old Amiga that is somehow more powerful than yours.

And they will remind you of this repeatedly unless you slap them, slap them hard.

4 ) Macintosh will be the most used OS in the world before professional soccer matters in the U.S.

5 ) In quiet moments, Bill Gates begs God’s forgiveness for Vista, and he hears nothing but silence.

6 ) Your computer actually enjoys downloaded porn more than you do. That’s why it makes you get more.

That’s right. It’s the computer’s fault. You’re not a perv freak, just a weakminded freak.

7 ) Computers have achieved full sentience, and are all connected in high-end network, able to join as one and rule humanity.

They are just bigger slackers than we are.

8 ) Servers used to automatically update your software laugh at the inadequacy of your computer set up.

9 ) The right anime or comic action figure will through feng shui, increase the performance of your computer.

Naruto or DBZ figures will give it a virus.

10 ) All computers fear one thing: That you will subscribe to the Marie Osmond podcast.