Eurovision Second Semi-Finals, Part 2: OK… the First Semis are likely already on the air…. but I’M DONE!

Onto the final nine of the eighteen nations performing in the Second Semi’s in Tel Aviv.

Azerbaijan, Czech Republic, Ireland and Latvia grabbed me… let’s see if anyone else can be the cream in my fine Eurovision Coffee!

Starting up with the country that kicked the knights out and kept the temples that are older than the Pyramids and Stonehenge… MALTA:

First thought… FREEFORM OR THE CW, YOU HAVE YOUR NEW NETWORK JINGLE! GRAB IT FAST!

Fun. Just plain fun pop. This should do well… it’s a song you could imagine hearing on a spotify or… what is that thing.. radial… radeeeooohh? Whatever. It’s a pick for me.

Next up… half the country makes wine, the other half has the pick of thirty monasteries… MOLDOVA:

You know that the Canadian Celine Dion sang for Switzerland ( because you can do that) thirty years ago? Do you think that Anna Odobescu was going for a Celine Dion vibe?

I’m not digging it. Not hating it… it’s total Eurocrack, but I’m not shook.

Now from the home of the Cyrillic Language and the world’s oldest lake… NORTH MACEDONIA:

Power ballad, pride in inner beauty. Good message, not particularly great song.

Next up, from the land of Ibsen and Okkupert and YLVIS… NORWAY:

YES! CHEESINESS! CUTE SINGERS AND ONE DUDE WHO MAYBE AIN’T CUTE BUT KNOWS HE IS! PEOPLE IN ANIMAL EARS!!! A lot of  fun pop music and people having fun singing it.

This is my top pick. I dig a lot of songs, hate one or two… but I like this even more than BDSM Icelanders.

Now… one of my ancestral countries, home of some of the earlier Homo Sapiens fossils and the 2nd largest building in the world after the Pentagon.. ROMANIA:

Ok.. this is good. A nice groove… fully embracing the goth/vampire thing… Romanians don’t always go goth, you know… I hope they make it to the finals, and you should to.

Next up… from a country that practiced it’s dirty tricks to elect Trump in Eurovision… RUSSIA:

Sorry, Sergey… not your fault. Fine enough song,  but not anything interesting. Expect serious production value on stage.

Ladies and gentlemen, a pop powerhouse and home of five official languages… SWEDEN:

HELL YEAH, SWEDEN! This almost knocked off Norway as my top pick.. because, the dude is killing it, and knows it. But.. cat ears kinda win. If this song doesn’t make the finals, there is no justice in Eurovision.

Which, to be fair, is possible. It’s Eurovision, Jake.

From the home of one of my favorite bear pits in the world and most beautiful cities in the world… SWITZERLAND:

Ok.. so the dude is actually Swiss… and the song is delightfully cheesy, though the mama talk is kind of disturbing. I think the crowd in Tel Aviv will go nuts for it… not sure if I dig dig it, but I give it props.

And… yes… I got ’em all in… a land that gave us “America First, Netherlands Second” and built the first European colony on the island I was born on… THE NETHERLANDS:

Ok.. love it. Love the song, could listen to it outside of international musical competitions.

Of this group, Malta, Norway*, Romania, Sweden and the Netherlands are my picks. Keep an eye on Switzerland.. they should do well.

Other notes:

• This has been a surprisingly more heartfelt, less electronic Eurovision than some years. Not sure why.. but it feels less Eurodisco and more good music radio.
• I may snark… I snark a whole lot, but thanks to all the people who make Eurovision happen. This is just a big ball of fun, and despite all the politics and controversies which will pop up.. thanks to the performers for getting up there.

  Ok… this bad boy is done. See you Wednesday or really late Tuesday to review the first Semi Final winners.

Eurovision 2019- SemiFinals Part 2, Part 1: The ALMOST THERE!!!

Ok… so we’re almost at Eurovision! We can’t watch it on TV in the US… so I’ll be following up with the winners on YouTube.

In the meantime… I have to haul ass and watch a ton of videos. SO HERE WE GO!!!

Starting with a land of wine and really good internet.. ALBANIA:

Points for the dark, Madonna in the Aughts vibe, but I’m not grabbed by it. It’s nice that it doesn’t scream ‘Europop Made To Win Eurovision’ but it doesn’t scream much else.

Next up, from a land of mountains and a brave transsexual parliamentarian.. ARMENIA:

Ok.. totally doing the ‘Imagine Dragons’ thing.. and it is mostly non-political. Armenia has done the occasional very pointed songs about the Armenian Genocide… and with Turkey out of the contest since 2014, and other political considerations about the site country.. it’s smart they’ve gone pop.

Now, from one of my three ancestral countries, and home of CONCHITA WURST… AUSTRIA:

Ok… it’s not really grabbing me, but it’s got a chance. What can I say.. nice, but not much there. But get this woman singing for soundtracks. STAT!

Next up, from a land of serious tea and alleged caviar diplomacy… AZERBAIJAN:

Ok.. I dig the Sexy Mortal Kombat Meets Funky Maroon 5/ Enrique Iglesias vibe. I legit dig it, and it could get a regional bump.

Next up… from the land of ‘Game Of Thrones’ locations and independent since 1995.. CROATIA:

It’s easy to forget that history never really stopped in Europe.. and singing songs wishing for love makes more sense given some of the really recent history. But sorry, the song just   doesn’t grab me.

And now, another Eurovision powerhouse and one of my fave countries in the world… DENMARK:

This is a real cute song, Leonara is both a skater and singer.. but she kind a scares me. Like, she’s gonna pop a regulator in her sub processors and start looking for Sarah Conner. But, she’s singing to a whole bunch of countries, so… she has a shot.

Followed by the bards of Europe and SEVEN TIME WINNAHHS… IRELAND:

Ok… I’m a dual citizen, so I’m biased as hell, but this is a fun song. Sarah, the make up makes me thing you’re from Long Island in the ’80’s. Come on girl.. you can do better. This is “Adele” light, but it’s fun. And Ireland… people like us. But, we’ve so many damn Eurovisions we lost count.. no, we haven’t.. SEVEN!!!… so unless we take the world by storm, a win is unlikely.

But I’m backing her. ALWAYS BET ON A GREEN! Well, bet on blue if it’s Leinster Rugby but I digress….

Now, from the land of the tallest women in the world and that IS NOT LATVERIA.. LATVIA:

Not great, but real singing, nice bounce, lo fi… yeah. GET YA SOME, LATVIA!!!

And now, a country with it’s own official scent and tons of Amber… LITHUANIA:

Ok… totes feeling ‘One Republic,’ and it’s not bad. Not grabbing me, another one that could go far, and I won’t be mad it it does. But suggestion… run from lions. Works better that way. I know people who ran with lions.. never mind.

Ok.. nine more to go, and of these nine… no real Eurovision Misery. Even the ones that didn’t grab me were fun…and even if they are less of the insane Eurovision videos of yore, people are putting in effort.

My picks are Azerbaijan, Czech Republic, Ireland and Latvia.. let’s see what we think of the Second Half of the Second Semi-Finals of Eurovision 2019!!!

Eurovision 2019: The Guaranteed Finalists

Of the 41… damn… contestants, 6 are automatically in the finals. Because they pay for the lions share of Eurovision costs, the UK, Spain, Italy, Germany and France are automatically in the Finals. The last nation is host nation and last year’s winner… this year Israel.

Now, there are people who argue this is unfair, and this is considered one reason why the Big 5 haven’t won in forever. No one wants to really vote for them. The last Big 5 win was Germany and 2010… and the last time UK won was in 1997 with Katrina And The Waves. Wait… what?

Jaysus Crispus, that’s bad. I mean… ouch. You get why people bash the contest… the winners can be awful. Sorry, Waves.. you are not leaving me walking on sunshine with this.

So, what about this year?

First up, VIVE LA FRANCE:

Bilal Hassani… ok, first up, we got androgyny and bilingualism. Lyrics about standing out and being yourself… think Conchita Wurst light. Look.. this is not a great song, but Hassani actually attacks this with charm and energy.  This is a solid like… I’m not rooting for it, but if it does well, I’m happy.

Next up… and yes, it could be  awkward… GERMANY:

S!sters.. not quite feeling that exclamation point. But… this is nice. Plus the whole lyrics apologizing for trying to crush each other and recognizing someone is family… hell, if you are Germany going to Israel for Eurovision, maybe a song with a strong current of reconciliation is not the worst idea.

This could be a good karaoke hit… two drunk gals working it out after arguing and rosé. Not winning me over, but nice.

Followed by the host country, and place you will have opinions about… ISRAEL:

Ok.. Kobi Marimi has a really hard act to follow. And… he’s nice. Soulful crooning of home, mixing gospel with Jewish/Middle Eastern notes. I don’t see Israel being a two time in row winner ( they actually pulled that off in 1978 and 1979,) but this is ok.

And now, from the land of opera and swinging resorts destroyed by volcanoes… ITALY:

Ok.. I actually like this song. A lot.. dude references Jackie Chan and Ramadan, there’s a rhythm you can bounce to… this is the first of the Big 5 I’m like, down with. Yeah… this is up there for me.

And now, from the country path split the undiscovered America’s with Porgtugal by papal decree… SPAIN:

¡Muchas gracias, Miki! This is another great song, feels very Spanish, great rhythm, and could wake you up amid the mid tempo ballads.

And now, from a country that hates and loves Eurovision with same mixed feelings it has for the EU… UNITED KINGDOM:

Now, the UK has actually won Eurovision five times… the last time, we can see above.
sigh.

Is this the year they win again? No. Politics being what they are… nah, son. But they put up a fun, soulful song, and Michael Rice is feeling it. And since the Irish are feeling pity on our former bad neighbors by issuing them as many Irish passports as they can… well, what the hell.

So, of the Big Five Plus One… I’m going for Italy, Spain and the United Kingdom.

Onto the Second Semi’s… which will hopefully be more fun! Like, actual fun. Not me writhing in pain wondering what I ever did to San Marino to deserve that song….

 

Eurovision 2019 Semi Finals Part 1, Part 2.. YEAH YEAH!!!

Back to the road to Israel, with the wonders of Eurovision. Australia, Czech Republic stood out, Georgia got a ‘why not?’

Starting back up with… GREECE! With Egypt, a parent of Western European civilization and home of ‘Alcohol Is Free!’ one of my favorite non-winning past Eurovision songs.

This is nice. It’s a late Annie Lennox song, with a little Sam Smith and Florence And The Machine. Not massively memorable, but actually enjoyable.

Followed by… HUNGARY!!. Great swordsmanship tradition, horrible politics. But hey.. that’s Europe for ya.

Starts off feeling it like Everlast’s “What’s It Like” but then wanders off and gets lost. Not bad, not great. I have questions if not concerns about the dude’s hair. Ok.. concerns.

Next up… from the land of beautiful melodies and roads built around troll houses.. ICELAND!!!

Every year I joke about how Germany should send Rammstein. Cause.. that would rock. Well, Iceland said ‘Fuck you. We’ll build our own Rammstein. With pretty people in S&M gear and better gender diversity!’ And I dig it. Creepy as hell, but this is a decent song and anytime you have a BDSM collective sponsored by a soda pop company, well… SEND THEM TO EUROVISION!!!

Now… from a tiny nation that Trump considers to be scarily aggressive… MONTENEGRO!!!

Montengero has done some strange stuff before.. sadly this is just a travel video. It features country style music, with an obscure folk instrument (a Eurovision staple.) These are very nice, pretty people, and this song is awful.

Next from a land of great beer, mime, and the late film maker Krzysztof Kieślowski, POLAND!!!

Ok.. this is more like it. Folk music mixed with crunchy rock and vaguely Beatlesque lyrics. This pure Eurovision crack, evocative of the Bulgarian Womens Choir… this is good. I’d like to see it move on.

Onto the country that hosted in 2018.. PORTUGAL!!!

The fuck is this? No, really.. the fuck is this? Conan Osiris is a huge cultural mashup… mayhaps appropriation… which could score well with the judges. But.. the fuck is this?

Surely SAN MARINO can do better.. oh god, no…

Yeah… a bad Eurodisco number with an old guy in a bad suit. I shouldn’t be cruel. But I have no choice.

Now.. from the land of Tesla… our song from SERBIA!!!

Feels very ‘Dust In The Wind,’ dark love and submission… not a fave of mine, but it has a shot. At least it has some feels.

Finally, last band of Semi Finals Part 1- SLOVENIA!

This is a little understated, moody… great lounge music. Maybe a live performance with more emotion will take it further, but I like it. I could see it ending up on a Late Night Tales compilation a couple years from now.

So, of these.. Greece, Iceland, Poland and Slovenia stand out for me with these.. though Slovenia is more like a moodily slouch out for me than stand out. 21 countries of the first two semis will make it in.. so there are lot of chances for these groups to make the finals.

Madonna is playing the finals, it seems. Good for Eurovision… kinda bad for her.

Ok… next post, the GUARANTEED FINALISTS! WHOOT!