Go on girl, go ahead “Gone Girl” (Hell Yeah, Spoilers.)

REMINDER- SPOILERS!!!!! NO REALLY! YOU WILL HAVE NO ‘GONE GIRL’ INNOCENCE LEFT!

So I finished ‘Gone Girl,’ largely because I wanted to see the movie, and I occasionally read the popular fiction book that EVERYONE is reading. And, while I didn’t lurve, I thought I’d put some thoughts on pixel about it.

RUN WHILE YOU CAN.

First- this is an ridiculously well crafted tale. Gillian Flynn’s tale hangs together, flows well, and as the characters get stranger and stranger, you see it build.But it’s not a mystery. While her narrators aren’t completely reliable, they are regularly waving flags for you. I mean, Amy was crazy as fuck from the start. No, really. She was insane. Like, from the start, this lady was wound tighter than a Real Housewife’s hand on a bottle of vodka. The treasure hunts she forces Nick to endure, and ignores how much he hates them… that was a flag she will take you on a treasure hunt.

TO HELL!!!!

And Nick is telling you he’s a liar, and shallow guy. And guess what.. he is.

But if you don’t see where the story is going, when it gets there, it is grounded in what has been written before. There is no “WHERE THE FUCK DID THAT COME FROM!??!” It’s all “DUDE, THAT’S CRAZY AND GROUNDED IN THE NARRATIVE BEFORE!” Or, “ok. that makes sense.”

Second- I continue to be uncomfortable that the lead character is a psychobitch manipulator playing the abused woman. Too many people are ready to believe victims manipulate to get what they want. This will certainly give them the sense of “THEY WE’RE RIGHT!!!!!” Yes, in her mindset.. she was the victim. Never mind it was a psychotic passive aggressive mindset, and if she applied herself, she could manipulated half her neighbors into the AMWAY CULT FROM HELL! She could have made millions in cheap vitamins off the slack jawed cattle the author portrays these people as, with only Go having brass ovaries to tell her to fuck off. And then, with that money, she could have divorced Nick for infidelity, and written a “Eat Love, Pray, Hate The Flyover States” that would have made her the toast of the fucking town.

With Amway money. THINK ABOUT IT!

Three- Inspired by Bill and Hillary Clinton. Too on the nose? Too crazy? Discuss.

Four- I realized near the end that this is the perfect romantic comedy. Take two people, who really shouldn’t be together. Make the guy need some redemption, a womanizer. Make the woman silly, crazy. Have them brought together, split apart, and then brought together by sheer writers will and force of events FOREVER AND EVER! Yup.

Rom-Com Gold.

Nick is even redeemed. He can’t leave or kill Amy because he realizes he will have a son who needs protection. He is actually heroic here.. going to a personal hell to make sure the next man in his family line isn’t the failure his forefathers have been. Dude… i knew love was a battlefield, but this is a killing field.

Five- I’m seeing a huge double standard here. Hannibal Lecter kills and eats people over table manners, we love him. Take him half way to Batman status. Amy, who could kill and completely destroy lives, kills one sleazeball, leaves most of her victims alone to live their lives, and is the devil.

Fair is fair. She is actually a better person than Hannibal Lecter. Only one person, who we really don’t mind getting killed, is killed.

Six- The thing I hated most about this book was the reading club notes. I love reading clubs, but I hate the fucking publishers spoon feeding critical content to the readers. WE ARE READERS! WE SHOULD COME UP WITH THIS SHIT, YO!!!

So, you don’t need to read this book. But it is worth reading. And I am betting that Fincher, who has made a career on long twisty mindfucks of movies, will direct the shit out of this.

Tags: "Books To Movies", "Gone GIrl", Books, Romantic Comedy